Change

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
Ellen Glasgow

Change..yes it is this word which propelled a first time senator from the senate to the presidency of the most powerful nation on this world. Barack Obama!

He spoke of change and the power of this word.. he was talking about how it gives people hope , how there is spring after autumn and so on..In short - the positive way this word affects us..!!

I am going to speak of something different ....how people change in a negative way

From-"Dude u are my best friend..i need ur help" to "Who the fuck u think u are"..

From-"thanx for the help.." to "get lost"..and many more instances

this is what i am talking about..how people change and yes MR. Obama u are wrong..not all changes are good..!! and yes even i was wrong....

This is what hurts me most..the way ‘friends’ change after they have had what they wanted from u ..it's like being a prostitute people come use u and pay u ..!! ohh wait ..i forgot to mention something ..we even don't get paid..prostitutes atleast get paid...they are better than us.

If it happens once u think and say "well ..what went wrong in our 'friendship'.."

second time-"what the fuck happened"

third time-"shit..not again"

and it never happens again for the fourth time cos u stop believing in the word friendship and u stop believing in people....

Yes this is what i am talking about..Yes Mr. Obama you are wrong..all change is not for the better.

I don't have the answer to why this change occurs...but as someone has very wisely said.."some things are better left unsaid.."

some questions are better left un-answered.

We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.

Joseph Roux

Hmmmm..!!

Today i was thinking why do we blog or why do we post notes on facebook or something similar..are we telling the world who we are or what we think..is it for the world ??

No..it's for us when we want to express something that we generally cant do to the world..

Eg.. my last post on Ego..had i just called up my frnd n told him what i had written on the blog he would have said.." bc dimag mat kharab kar..kam ki bat kar.."..but his comments on the posts express that he liked the entry..!!

I vent out my thoughts or feelings on my blog ..my entries reflect my mood and state of mind..they reflect the phase of life i am going through..it's like writing online diary entries..which if ppl want can read or otherwise..!!

Now coming to my topic..

"The best mirror is an old friend." --George Herbert

Delete what was I meant to live for? I walk down the hall with two of my best friends on each side of me. A guy and a girl. I love them both like hell. I look to the gurl on the left. And I think this is a girl I can gossip with, this is a girl who will always be my friend. This is a girl I can talk to about my girl friend when I think about her. I truly love this girl. I look to the guy on the right . When I look at him I think this is a guy I can say anything to, who I can trust, who will always be friend, This is a guy who just likes keeping it real. I love how sweet and kind he is. I love listening to the silences when we talk on the phone. Oh how I miss those silences. I love laughing when he kills the conversations. You could say that the conversation was going to die in about 5 seconds and he would say less than that. I truly love this guy. These are 2 very special people in my life. When I look at these 2 people, I now know why I was meant to live. Now we continue to walk down these halls together and I am left with one question - I wonder what if i were to walk these halls alone?

"We do not so much need the help of our friends as the confidence of their help in need." -- Epicurus (3rd century B.C.)

So another question pops in my mind

Why do we fight on little things..so insignificant that we laugh later with our best friends or ppl close to us ..but have a fight on big things with strangers or ppl not so close to us..!!

think about it ??

Is it expectations-when we are close to someone we expect them to fullfill our expectations of them which are sometimes too much ..and we never tell them what we want ..we just expect them to realize and fullfill what we want..!! is it asking too much??

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." -- The Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

I have had fights with my closest of friends over trivial issues like losing a game of cards (we both were a team)..to not able to meet him..to not able to send my car to drop him..to not able to go somewhere where she wanted..they have been small things but a big fight..we fight like hell with as much as inflated egos as probably we were 2 prime ministerial candidates..we dont talk for a few days or in one case a few months..and then it's back too normal with a stronger bond..with laughters and tears at the same moment (remember one thing : the person who is able to give u both at the same time..NEVER LOSE HIM/HER..value them more than ur life) regarding the fight..

I don't need a Hummer full of friends..but a rickshaw with a few close friends..these are the people who know me the best..they know my faults but cover it up with their kindness, they know what i lack but make it up with their strengths..

If i am down in life will they come forward..will they be there when i need them the most ..??

I know the answer in my heart and it brings a smile on my lips..!!

"My friend is he who will tell me my faults in private." -- Solomon Ibn Gabirol

"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship." -- La Rochefoucauld (1665)

The no-name post

“One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.”

G. K. Chesterton

As you may have already guessed the topic of my new post with the quote from G K Chesterton, one maybe thinking or forced to think how can a person talk about a thing such as ego which can't be either quantified or measured.
How can one discuss ego and make sure that his own personal bias or anything as such come in..??
How can I talk about ego and feeling of someone else..??
How can you differentiate it from self-pride where do you cross the line from being a proud person to an egoistic person..??

These are just some of the questions i was faced while thinking of this post..the incidents of the past few days forced me to delve deeper into this, the so called questions and answers of the soul or of one's inner side.
You must be saying it aloud can this boy really think that deep..one whose a teenager who has just turned 18 and become an adult who hasn't 'seen' life and hasn't 'interacted' with the world, how can he answer that..?

I know i haven't seen the world or its' harsh realities but i can safely say that from a what i have seen, that it is surely longer than a movie trailer and not the whole movie....... but my friends tell me one thing after seeing a movie for a good time you can actually guess to a good extent how the rest of the movie is going to play out..!!


"Ego is the biggest enemy of humans. ”

Rig Veda


Self-pride vs Ego

How do you know when you have become from being a proud person to being an egoistic ..it's like saying heads or tails how do you which side is going to come up after the flip of the coin..!!
I say self-pride is when you say you are the best and being egoistic is when you say you are the best and demeaning others..!!

I am the best vs No one can be better than me..!!
I had a communication problem with a friend of mine lately , and both of us were sure that the fault lay the the other persons' doorstep none of us refused to budge for 2 days and then finally things were sorted out when my friend called me up to clarify things out.!!
Was it self-pride or ego which prevented us from talking during the two days..no one can answer it because both the sides will say "Not my fault, it's a matter of my pride, I won't say sorry".
Luckily the problem is solved but the question of pride vs ego remains..??


“The foundation of the Buddha's teachings lies in compassion, and the reason for practicing the teachings is to wipe out the persistence of ego, the number-one enemy of compassion.”

Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th Dalai Lama (Dalai Lama, b.1935)


It's actually similar to sledging ..you never know when you cross the line because the line may vary from person to person!!Its human to feel and it's human to defend what you feel and think but what matters here is how to keep it in check!!

People generally say

"dekh saale ko kitni akad/chaud me ghoom rahan hain"
or
"What an inflated/bloated ego that guy has..!!"

Ego is like those cancerous cells in ones body which can lie dormant or raise their ugly head(which one raised there's no escaping it) you can't cure it you can just hope to catch it in it's initial stages.
I have seen people suffering because of ego , families in trouble, but then i have also seen people fight it and suppress it if not conquer it.
A very dear friend of mine changed his behaviour from one of " I don't give a damn" to "hey lets try and solve it."

When do you know that the person is a patient of ego
-He refuses to listen to anyone else..he thinks he's always right
-Imposing your will or trying to do so on a group
-Is generally short on 'shoulders to keep a head on'
-That strut with the "i don't give a damn/i know it all" air around it

WHAT I REALLY WANT TO TOUCH UPON IN THIS POST IS ABOUT EGO IN TEENAGERS (as i initially said i have seen more than the trailer so i atleast have the right to comment upon it)
Clash of egos/personality-it is probably the most common reason i have heard in college for a fight.!!The initial months our whole class used to be a single group with everyone doing everything together and then slowly and steadily the class started to fragment and the reason given "yaar uski meri banti nahi hain" or"he's too egoistic and i can't tolerate him"
Where did we the 18 odd year old 'children' understand the concept of ego,arrogance..what is it which makes us sometimes so blinded by it that that we cannot look over our own shoulders??

17-18 -19 at the max is the age when one enters college and before that school.
All children till the age of 5-7 are naive they quickly grasp what they are taught .. so is it fault of the parents (oh come on you got a reason to put the blame on someone else ) or is it the fault of the teachers with whom a child spends more time than he spends with his parents.!!

Whose fault is it to make a child of 7 turn into an egoistic person of 17 and so on ..
is it the peer group , is it the enviroment , is it the morals, is it the _____ (come on gimme a good another reason : this last one is for you to think about)....or a combination of all ...your guess is as good as mine??

“The world is burning in the fire of desire, in greed, arrogance and excessive ego.”

Sri Guru Granth Sahib

The SMS

Today while I was sitting in my room a new sms disturbed my concentration.. it was a sms from a friend in college which read as under:

"7th feb: rose day
8th feb: propose day
9th feb: chocolate day
10th feb: teddy bear day
11th feb: promise day
12th feb: kiss day
13th feb: hug day
14th feb: valentine day


wishing you a romantic week:) "


This message later made me think of a post..!!

The ongoing 'save our culture' drama being held in south India , which is now a regular feature in north India.
This time it all started with attacks on pub going girls in Mangalore and Sri Ram Sene chief ,Pramod Muthalik, putting it on record that he was against girls going to pubs.. in an apparent political move BJP distanced itself from this incident and Karnataka CM and few other senior centre leaders(read congress) came in open criticizing the pub culture.

Then came another shocker : A school-going daughter of a Kerala MLA and her male co-passenger(who incidentally happened to be a Muslim) were thrown out of the bus , their crime:talking to each other..

Pramod Muthalik tried to come off clean from all this saying that they weren't involved in all this..!!

Is this what we call culture?? : beating up girls, threating boys with dire consequences and creating a rift between people from different backgrounds..
Why does all this pop-up again and again like a bad virus.. each time on each and every valentine day??
Sometimes in Maharashtra right now in Kerela and Karnataka ..what next Delhi (wait it has already happened here..has it ??)!!

Which culture are they talking about exactly..i guess these people have never really studied their history properly ..!! we are a land which is synonymous with the letter K(no i am not talking about movies from karan johar or serials from ekta kapoor) but i am referring to the temples in khujraho and the famous piece of literature "K*******A". India has always been a rich heritage , a country of diverse backgrounds , a tolerant nation where each and every culture has been preserved in cotton wool:even if it difficult we have always stood by it and smiled.

What has suddenly gone wrong: i have a few plausible answers
1) New way of marketing themselves as political parties(these are those parties who are new and don't have any agenda:MNS and now this SRS)::::::AKA VOTE BANK POLITICS
2) Maybe the 'western way' of celebrating, what india has already been doing for centuries.
3)It is actually wrong..!!
4)The essence of the occasion has been lost and made into a marketing week by leading stores.. which hasn't gone down well with other people..!!

In the end i just have a few questions for you....
Who decides who are the gaurdians of our culture?
What is THE limit ??
When does the government step - in ??
Who will guard the guards??


LET THE TRUTH PREVAIL AND LET THERE BE LIGHT TO HELP ENLIGHTEN THOSE WHO REFUSE TO BE ENLIGHTENED..!!

Matter of Honour and Pride

Today we celebrate the 60th year of India the nation come into being..!!
26th January 1950 after almost 3 years of the hardwork , dedication , and our constitution came into force.

The panel headed by Dr. B.R Ambedkar compiled the best possible constitution (a combination of various other constitutions) while writing they would have for sure be thinking how this 'piece of art' was going to shape up the course of their land, which they fought so hard to free,to make it into the next superpower in the world, to help it re-again it's long -lost glory to again make it a "sone ki chidiya".

HAVE THEY SUCCEED IN THEIR AMBITIONS??.... were they too over ambitious??
OR
HAVE WE LET THEM DOWN ??

That's what my this post is all about (What's going on in our country, what's ailing us??)

today as i was watching the Australian Open , my brother came rushing into the TV room and said "i want to see the parade" i said "no use there's nothing new to see.. each year they show the same thing" and i can assure you that i wouldn't have been the only person saying that..!!

Why did it come to such a situation..i can't answer this question 'cos it's too big a question to be answered by people like me .. it's a question regarding the whole country !!
Why on some particular dates like 26/1 , 15/8 , 2/10 do we have to remind ourselves of who we are .. why do politicians only on these dates say about the various problems our country is facing :terrorism , poverty, unemployment , fights over religion , high drop out rates , the discrimination against women and so on..!!

In a country of 28 states, 7 union territories, 1618 languages, 640 castes, 6 ethnic groups, and 29 major festivals is it all acceptable .. NO..!!

The problem lies right at the centre

28 States 7 union territories each and everyone wants to carve out a different state for themselves recently we had 3 new sates formed.. now there's a demand for another new state 'Telengana' there are proposals to divide UP into further 3 states for 'administrative purposes'
the feeling of oneness which was so heart warming till the early 90's has just started going down..!!
In south India there's still a raging debate over why should hindi be our mother tongue and why not some other language .. is this what is expected of a country who wants to lead the world..(people still fight over the choice of the mother tongue).
We blame the politicians over this mess .. we say they are bad , corrupt , don't have the national interests at heart ..but answer my one question.. how many of us are willing to take the plunge ourselves..?? How many of us are willing to forgo a lucrative annual package to serve the nation..??

We still fight and yes fight over whether a particular NATIONAL party is too pro a specific religion and anti against the other ..what i dont understand is that when it's major opponent does something for the benefit of a particular religion its called duty in the favour of the minorities..you must be kidding do you have any idea what's the % of these religions in india) and when the party in question does something for our religion its called a religion fanatic party..!!
Thats what i call BIASED opionion..!!

I am NOT here to support one side or the other i am just here to ponder and help you think what has happened to us
when we first think of 15th August what do we get as a reply:kite flying..great is it what our independence day has become synonymous with..!!

What we lack is pride ..pride in ourselves, pride in our rich heritage pride, in our culture and most of all pride in each other..!!
we still have a particular Mr.Bachhan slamming Slumdog for showing India's poor underbelly..??
what's wrong with him instead of howling on Danny Boyle he should take pride in how those people survive..It's just a matter of pride..
Why do we look to the west for recognition..why do we call 26/11 india's 9/11(according to american way of writing the dates).. why do we compare the satyam scam to a similar scam in the west(cant get the name), why do we so die for an oscar(do we really need recognition from the west for our movies)..??

Aren't all these things a sign of what i am saying..!!

Sports event

In my last post i mentioned about the Inter -BBE sports event which was scheduled from 5-10..!!
Well this post is dedicated to the event only..!!
Getting up everyday at 5 coming back at 5 and then dozing off by 8 and sleeping like a log was how the week flew by.
Our college won 5 golds 3 silver and 5 bronze and came 3rd
I personally won 2 bronze (took part in 3 events). The event was held at Ram Lal Anand (E) College near South Campus. We,friends,used to meet near our college and then take a bus(gosh!!) to reach the campus area and from there used to sometimes walk (imagine 8.30-9 in the morning) or taking an auto to reach the college ....wait hang on-2 days we also went in cabs(hang on) not that 10 Rs/km ones.... but those call centre cabs whose drivers after dropping the call centre people back.... charge 10 bucks per person for a distance just to earn a quick buck!!

The college though not in a great shape: cricket field consisted more of rocks than grass and so on.... the college must be given credit and due for hosting such an event , and yes the event was very well organized though there were some glitches like clashing of main events like football , cricket and volleyball in some cases and in games there were cases of 'home advantage' or you may call it cheating (in football and cricket especially)....!!
The home advantage reached to such an extent that we almost walked off in the middle of the semis against RLA(E) and Shivaji DID walk off in the finals (cricket).
I still remember the joke that our team(3rd) and Shivaji(2nd) cracked on the RLA (1st) team that they should consider sharing their cricket Gold with the Umpires.

The opening ceremony on 5th included the march past and the oath taking ceremonies.The refreshments were fine and the only interesting part was that they gave different fruits on 3 days and then repetition lol.

Our college just had around 10 days to prepare and considering that we did a remarkable job
while colleges like Gargi and RLA(E) which were the top 2 colleges in the medals tally were preparing for months and both had coaches for their respective sports.

The motto was the usual of team building, leadership etc..!!

From walking like mad from the college to the bus stop to stopping auto rickshaws and asking them whether they would consider going to Banglaore (ohhhh sorry) Bengaluru.... to chatting up with the ice cream vendor infront of South campus gates to going to keventors it was fun..!!

All in all I would say that it was one week well spent.... enjoyed with friends, cracked jokes,relaxed met new people and yes won medals....!!!!!

Am back !!

Hey everyone after a long gap of more than a year i am back to blogging!!
In the past week only i decided to restart what i left a year back!! A fresh start - from the name of the blog to the address..!! lol
I hope that this new affair with the blog world will be longer than the previous one..!!

I didn't have a particular topic for starting my blog but then i also belive that to start a good thing you don't need a reason so here it is..!!
For now i dont have anything much to say except what's going on with me...well just preparing for the Inter-BBE sports fest (5-10th Jan)
at Ram Lal college, in which all the 10 colleges of BBE will hopefully be taking part(SGTB Khalsa -not sure).
The event comprises of 7 events Cricket,Football,Volleyball,Badminton,Carrom,Tug of War,Athletics,Table tennis for boys and 5 for girls(except football and cricket).
I am going for 3 cricket,carrom and tug of war.
We hope to do well and win alot of events.

Signing off for now biiii